Nicole vs. Life
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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