yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
