Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

  (817): View more from Texas

  told ya

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  (214): apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back...... (817): told ya http://tfl.nu/csea
  Replies (13) Good night (2601) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

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  (617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/ho6s
  Replies (190) Good night (57577) Bad night (4911)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I haven't been this sober since birth.

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  (609): I haven't been this sober since birth. http://tfl.nu/qg8c
  Replies (15) Good night (1204) Bad night (2674)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  hows the new call of duty?

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.

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  (207): hows the new call of duty? (1-207): I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome. http://tfl.nu/zewm
  Replies (78) Good night (5531) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I need a leather bustier to keep them in.

  (925): View more from California

  Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.

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  (406): I need a leather bustier to keep them in. (925): Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that. http://tfl.nu/8m96
  Replies (26) Good night (6081) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..

  (951): View more from California

  u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!

  (661): View more from California

  i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u

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  (661): i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break.. (951): u hav a 3 hour lunch break?! (661): i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u http://tfl.nu/1ary
  Replies (40) Good night (8030) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.

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  (201): Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable. http://tfl.nu/oy8s
  Replies (27) Good night (5341) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.

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  (303): Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary. http://tfl.nu/tm81
  Replies (18) Good night (1017) Bad night (1678)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.

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  (215): He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that. http://tfl.nu/u001
  Replies (12) Good night (1997) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.

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  (281): To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life. http://tfl.nu/6vxl
  Replies (8) Good night (856) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.

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  (604): I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner. http://tfl.nu/27g8
  Replies (7) Good night (1172) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down

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  (906): I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down http://tfl.nu/5qer
  Replies (5) Good night (1008) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma

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  (919): Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma http://tfl.nu/tsev
  Replies (1) Good night (795) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.

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  (631): After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly. http://tfl.nu/xlkc
  Replies (4) Good night (190) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash

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  (847): Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash http://tfl.nu/hj9z
  Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (237)

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