Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  No one shows this much boob at breakfast

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  (404): It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast. (1-404): No one shows this much boob at breakfast http://tfl.nu/tvt6
  Replies (7) Good night (3821) Bad night (698)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.

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  (203): Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle. http://tfl.nu/zfv7
  Replies (7) Good night (2598) Bad night (549)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky

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  (401): i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky http://tfl.nu/0cqb
  Replies (27) Good night (3125) Bad night (1155)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.

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  (703): All I need in life is some dick and a big mac. http://tfl.nu/2v25
  Replies (65) Good night (6513) Bad night (1463)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles. 

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  (+44): Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles. http://tfl.nu/yunu
  Replies (3) Good night (3842) Bad night (822)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.

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  (513): We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case. http://tfl.nu/f3uf
  Replies (17) Good night (3900) Bad night (927)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.

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  (307): I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American. http://tfl.nu/4si2
  Replies (93) Good night (1668) Bad night (9304)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting

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  (702): Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting http://tfl.nu/9kwe
  Replies (7) Good night (2011) Bad night (1030)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.

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  (+44): cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked. http://tfl.nu/v3oz
  Replies (3) Good night (2401) Bad night (553)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?

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  (561): I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line? http://tfl.nu/0ivn
  Replies (10) Good night (894) Bad night (1250)
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  (619): View more from California

  Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it

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  (619): Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it http://tfl.nu/a0r3
  Replies (1) Good night (1083) Bad night (411)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.

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  (715): The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots. http://tfl.nu/aoap
  Replies (6) Good night (973) Bad night (387)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"

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  (616): I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!" http://tfl.nu/jxqn
  Replies (3) Good night (905) Bad night (341)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.

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  (407): I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend. http://tfl.nu/eu14
  Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (267)
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  (209): View more from California

  I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.

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  (209): I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went. http://tfl.nu/69c2
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (323)

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