we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
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i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
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He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic