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• (713): View more from Texas

  we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Anal.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (805): View more from California

  i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I believe some people would call last night an orgy.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...

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• (516): View more from New York

  My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"

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• (530): View more from California

  hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  You'll pass into the great gay beyond

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic

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