Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.

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  (515): Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn. http://tfl.nu/kzr9
  Replies (28) Good night (941) Bad night (5366)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.

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  (201): Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable. http://tfl.nu/oy8s
  Replies (27) Good night (5398) Bad night (906)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice

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  (317): You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice http://tfl.nu/bo72
  Replies (15) Good night (5766) Bad night (826)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face

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  (304): I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face http://tfl.nu/lyd3
  Replies (10) Good night (3297) Bad night (731)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.

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  (720): I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole. http://tfl.nu/jzio
  Replies (11) Good night (881) Bad night (3017)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Drunk

  (845): View more from New York

  Deyhxbr

  (845): View more from New York

  Fucaerrrrr

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  (845): Drunk (845): Deyhxbr (845): Fucaerrrrr http://tfl.nu/ddt4
  Replies (10) Good night (2632) Bad night (690)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.

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  (780): The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone. http://tfl.nu/xun1
  Replies (4) Good night (2021) Bad night (763)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer

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  (515): oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer http://tfl.nu/4g9e
  Replies (5) Good night (2400) Bad night (888)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.

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  (203): some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed. http://tfl.nu/br4z
  Replies (7) Good night (2575) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick

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  (608): Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick http://tfl.nu/ym1u
  Replies (9) Good night (1895) Bad night (557)
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  (714): View more from California

  Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?

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  (714): Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit? http://tfl.nu/0nii
  Replies (5) Good night (1117) Bad night (579)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night

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  (443): I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night http://tfl.nu/0wm9
  Replies (3) Good night (1424) Bad night (437)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.

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  (806): I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex. http://tfl.nu/q7ob
  Replies (3) Good night (635) Bad night (350)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun

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  (270): I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun http://tfl.nu/24f6
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow

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  (918): I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow http://tfl.nu/sxt6
  Replies (0) Good night (431) Bad night (302)

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