Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
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No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
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I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP