Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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