Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
MIDGETS
????
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
