you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
