Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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