Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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