Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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