listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
