Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
