NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
