Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
