Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
