I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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