Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
