His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
