Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
