i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
