Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize