I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
