THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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