STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
