I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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