My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
