Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
