P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
