True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
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also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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