I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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