no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
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I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
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Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH