yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
