I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
