Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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