I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
organizing the empties. That sober.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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