And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
