We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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