and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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