as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
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i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
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How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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