You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he was CRYING into my vagina
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
