i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
