Who did Billy Mays play for?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
