Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
