I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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