Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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