and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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