I wish I could punch you in the face.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
