you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
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They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
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Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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