I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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