how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
