I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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