wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
