well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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