D3 body, D1 cock
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Randomize
