I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just gift wrapped bread.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
