I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
