I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
