I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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