She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
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She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
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Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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