Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
